Reoriented in Worship

A reflection on the lectionary readings for the eleventh Sunday after Pentecost.

I could wrap up the gospel narrative today with one sentence: if we show up for our community worship to prove how holy we are instead of for connection, we’ve lost the Jesus plot.

But y’all know that I won’t stop with just putting the tip of our toes in. We’re always in for a deeper dive. So, here we go.

Worship, that posture that helps us stay oriented toward who God is and Whose we are, is our purpose. It isn’t the means to anything. It is the end, the telos. It is what we are made for. All the rest of our life is shaped and transformed by our time in worship.

In the reading and hearing of scripture, the shared prayers, the songs of praise and the songs of lament, our corporate confession, receiving the gift of forgiveness, and the gathering around God’s table to receive the nourishment of God we are oriented, and regularly reoriented, toward the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. Our time together in worship of our Holy Loving God refreshes us and heals us and restores us. It is an absolute necessity for us to live as God’s people.

The woman in our story today came to worship, bearing the weight of all that ailed her: living in a broken human system that told her she had no value as a person and that her needs were of no concern to the religious leaders. I know a similar weight and what it is to feel too weak in body and soul to bear it (this is how the word translated as ‘ailment’ is defined). The weight of being treated as if you are invisible or that you have no value does cause shoulders and spines to bend in physically as our soul tries to protect itself from the destructive nature of disregard. But Jesus saw her as an invaluable daughter of God. Jesus saw the weight that she was forced to carry and he released her from it. And the other men in the room were angry.

The word recorded by Luke to set her free is the same word Matthew uses to tell the story of Joseph pondering what to do after knowing Mary was pregnant. It’s the same word used by Simeon to proclaim The Messiah as Mary and Joseph bring baby Jesus into the Temple. It’s the same word used when Pilate released Barabbas. It’s not a healing or restoring word but a setting free and releasing word. The woman was bound by the brokenness of this world and Jesus released from any obligation or assumed responsibility to remain bound by a system that devalued her.

When we bring the weight of the world we are bound up with to God, we are set free from the trappings of being told we are not enough. In our worship we are fed and strengthened by God’s love and connected to one another. We are reminded that we are most complete in our relationship with God and each other because our true identity and value and worth comes from the Image of God within us.

How others treat us doesn’t define who we are. We are God’s beloved. This is the core of our identity, who and Whose we are. This is the wisdom that releases us from the weight of the broken, human-made, oppressive systems in this world that say some people are less valuable than others. This is the healing balm that strengthens and equips us to boldly work together with God’s help to see and acknowledge these systems. Even if we can’t dismantle them we can together live in such a way that the people we encounter know they are loved and valued by God and by us. We can release them from the inequitable role the world has forced on them. We can illuminate the Way into the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven where all are loved and all are equal.

In our reading from the letter to the Hebrews, we are told “since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us give thanks, by which we offer to God an acceptable worship with reverence and awe; for indeed our God is a consuming fire.” We are receiving this Kingdom, not we will some day when we die but actively, right here and right now, in this life we are living, we are receiving. With each act of worship. With each prayer. With each song. On our knees (as we are physically able or metaphorically if we are not) with our hands open wide we receive the body and blood of God’s life with us as one of us that continuously transforms us into Kingdom people. The fire that is God isn’t a destructive fire but the kind of fire that purifies, that removes in us that which tries to conceal the Image of God within.

Regardless of the failings of the human made systems of this world, God’s Everlasting Kingdom is here. Not just in the church building but each time we reveal the Image of God within us and remind another that they too are God’s beloved. And when we come together in worship and receive God’s goodness and love, we become more and more whole. We are shaped and transformed into who and Whose we are made to be.

What we do in our worship isn’t an interlude in our week. It isn’t an ego boost or an escape or some type of holy spa treatment to make us feel better about ourselves. Worship grounds us in the reality of our life in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven and enables and equips us to shine the light of God’s love so that the people we encounter each day know they, too, are invaluable children of God.

Keep lovin’ louder than the hate, Y’all.

Learning from Stories, Part 1 (MMOW6)

It is challenging to seek out the biases that guide our thoughts and behaviors because as the old cliches say, we can’t see the water we swim in nor the forest through the trees. Our brains often try to tell us that the way we view the world is the only way. Present in the Trinity at our creation, Jesus not only knows how our brains work, he lived as one of us and experienced this life as we do. And so he used parables to help us broaden our perspectives.

A parable is defined as a story with a moral or spiritual lesson. As Jesus used them they are so much intricately layered than that. Jesus taught with parables to provoke our imaginations and help us see what God is up to in this world. Instead of zeroing us in on a simple moral lesson, Jesus’ parables are meant to equip us to step out of the fishbowl or forest so we can begin to know ourselves authentically as God made us.

Matthew (1:10-17), Mark (Mark 4:10-12), and Luke (8:9-10) each share Jesus’ explanation for why he used parables. Jesus spoke in parables to distinguish between those who had eyes to see and those who had hardened their hearts again God’s love for all. It wasn’t to keep secrets but to speak in a way that equipped those who were willing to see their true motivations and open to the transformation of their hearts. Those who were blinded by building their own kingdoms couldn’t understand the nature of God’s Kingdom revealed in the parables.

We don’t earn our way into the Kingdom by having the proper eyes and ears. We enter the Kingdom by responding to the invitation ‘follow me’ and allowing our hearts (aka the eyes and hears that enable us to be present to the Kingdom already here) to be transformed by God as we journey together following Jesus. If we aren’t willing to be transformed we can’t see the path into the Kingdom. We can pretend and tell others we are following Jesus but in time our behaviors will reveal that we don’t have the eyes to see or hears to hear who God is and Whose we are.

In one of the few parables that are in all three of the synoptic gospels (the label for the grouping of Matthew, Mark, & Luke as distinguished from the Gospel as written by John) Jesus tells a story of a man who was a bit enthusiastic with his planting.

The seeds are going everywhere. Some seeds grow a bit but don’t thrive. Some end up in lifeless and volatile environments. Some land in a healthy situation and thrive and do what seeds are made to do, produce fruit. This is also one of the few parables Jesus explains to the disciples. Each of the three writers offers the story and Jesus’ explanation with their own nuances. Matthew writes that the seeds are the word of the Kingdom; Mark writes they are the word; Luke writes the word of God. Throughout our scriptures, the word WORD is understood to be the revealing by God of the character and purpose of God.

God, the Creator of all there is, reveals the Godself continuously in and through all that is created. When we humans have the eyes to see and ears to hear, this self-revealing God is illuminated by our lives so that others may see and hear, too. But we have to be careful not to let that go to our heads. It is God who does the revealing. Like the sower who scatters seed with the joyful energy of abundance, it is God who relentlessly seeks us to show us how to be fully human as God made us to be. We participate with God, following Jesus, shining God’s light of Love on the pathway of the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. We can’t control or coerce how others receive God.

We can do the work to build up a community where all are invited to be transformed as together we follow Jesus into the Kingdom-in-earth-as-in-heaven. As Jesus-led leaders, we know that we, too, follow. Being in a leadership role does not elevate us above anyone else nor does it mean we possess the ability to do what God does. When we accept a leadership role we also accept the responsibility and accountability to enable and equip those whom we lead to do what is their’s to do in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven.

Does this understanding of the purpose of parables and this particular parable help you broaden your perspective? Are there thought patterns or habits of yours you are discovering that may not be congruent with following Jesus?

Undiscovered Biases, Part 2 (MMOW5)

I want to share a few more personal anecdotes from my experience with leadership in the church to help us all open up to our undiscovered biases (and, please, if you detect any of mine, please speak up!) before we start diving into some of the parables Jesus tells from which I’ve discerned what I’ve come to call Jesus-led leadership.

A few years ago, when I had been at a parish for about 6 months, we were in the moments before a high holy day worship service. Those who were serving during the service were all preparing, putting on vestments, reviewing the bulletin, and asking questions about the flow of the service. One man who was serving as an acolyte came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Another man who was a visiting deacon came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Another man who is a retired priest came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Other women who were serving asked me questions as well and then didn’t proceed to go to the other priest to repeat their questions.

Unfortunately, this was not an unusual scenario in the church, even in the Episcopal church that has been ordaining women since 1979. And, I bet you not one of these three men or the other priest saw anything amiss with their actions. These are the undiscovered biases we all have. At the time, I didn’t have the time or energy to talk with any of them about their actions. And, I told myself, they are still getting used to me.

Not long after this, some members of the parish were gathering for a special class I was leading on a Saturday. Just before we began, a call came in about a parishioner who was supposed to be joining us but was having a medical emergency. The other priest of the parish left to meet them at the hospital and I would continue with the class for those present. I called the room to prayer for the parishioner, their family, the medical team, and the safety of the priest in making his way to the hospital. After the prayer, I began to hand out the class materials so we could begin as we were already about half an hour behind schedule.

One of the class attendees who had stepped out of the room when the other priest left for the hospital came back in and without looking at or communicating with me, called for everyone’s attention and began to pray. Now, I know there is always room for prayer but he interrupted me offering directions for the group and prayed as if I hadn’t. And when he sat down he looked at me and told me I could begin, as if he were in charge of the room. I saw looks of perplexity on many faces (and if I had a mirror on my own I’m sure), shrugged, and continued. Undiscovered biases, I told myself.

Jesus-led leadership is given, not assumed or taken. To take, assume, or demand authority isn’t leadership but an attempt at domination led by our egos not Jesus.

When I accept the role of leader in a group, I also accept the responsibility and accountability that comes with the authority given to me. To want authority without the accountability and responsibility is not leadership. Jesus-led leadership is never assumed but always an answer to an invitation. Jesus-led leadership is cultivated in ongoing relationships grounded in Jesus’ invitation ‘follow me’.

Courage for Peacemaking

A reflection on the lectionary readings for the tenth Sunday after Pentecost.

What on earth is Jesus talking about in our gospel reading today? Is he having a bad day, is he drunk? How can he contradict all that he teaches and preaches elsewhere about peace?

Jesus, as he often does, is intentionally causing us to say ‘whaaaat?!?!” He isn’t contradicting himself, he’s teaching; us what true peace MAKING is and illustrating the difference between peacekeeping and peacemaking. Jesus knows that sometimes you have to completely shake up the status quo in order to create actual peace. Not the kind of peace thought of only as the absence of conflict but the Kingdom peace that even in conflict provides courage and wisdom to keep following Jesus toward equitable justice and mutuality.

In the Roman occupied Jewish culture of first century Palestine, the Pax Romana was a artificial peace. To keep this peace, everyone had to know their place and stay in it. If, for example, a daughter decided to step out of her defined place in the name of justice or compassion, this would impact the whole family. And those who were more concerned with keeping the artificial peace would do what they could to keep her in line with the status quo, even if it meant causing harm.

Jesus’ own mother and siblings attempted to do this with him. Mark tells us of a time when Mary and Jesus’ siblings came looking for him because they thought he was out of his mind. Why on earth would anyone risk everything by shaking up the status quo? Because the peace of God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven is continuously created and nurtured, not kept under threat of harm. Kingdom peace is created by undoing the systems that keep certain people marginalized and oppressed, even if those systems are our families of origin or our religious institutions.

If our family of origin is an abusive system that requires everyone to tiptoe around the least emotionally intelligent person or to protect the abusers, it is not congruent with the good news of God’s love. If our church community isn’t lead by the love of Christ, it is not congruent with the good news of God’s love. If our political leaders promote hate and demand loyalty above all else, we cannot follow them and Jesus at the same time. If the societal systems we are in seek to control who’s first and last they are not kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven systems, regardless of the name on the building. Just because something holds the label of family or charity or church doesn’t mean it functions with God’s love.

To love God and our neighbor and ourselves requires that we strive together with God to love honestly, authentically, and equitably for the building up of the kingdom. Sometimes to make room for the building up of the kingdom we have to stand up to who or what is counter to the kingdom. We have to speak truth against lies. We have to call out people who are self-serving instead of other-focused. We have to stop participating in the abusive and oppressive cultural, societal, and family systems. And when those who are living counter to God’s Kingdom choose not to see the light of God’s Love we can’t compromise the Kingdom characteristics to maintain anyone’s comfort zone. We have to disrupt the status quo just as Jesus teaches us.

My core identity, your core identity begins in who we each are as beloved children of God. We are all made in God’s image. If I find my core identity in my family of origin, or my role in my family, or the country of my birth or choice, or any human made institution or club or group, I am not grounding myself in who and Whose I truly am.

And, yes, we also have to be careful that we aren’t throwing the baby out with the bathwater or disrupting things just to be disruptive. Jesus shows us how to look at the internal motivations of our own hearts and the family and societal systems we are in and bump them up against the good news of God’s love to discern what we are to do because of who and Whose we are. Just like when we look at the sky and honestly name what is happening, we have to be honest with ourselves and how we witness others behaving.

So often we think we are being nice when we turn a blind eye to other’s harmful behavior. The abusers and oppressors count on those who say things like “be the bigger person” to keep their control. Ignoring abuse and oppression does not make it stop. The only way to stop abuse, be it at the family level or by the government or any system in between, is to name it for what it is and hold those responsible accountable, without becoming abusers or oppressors ourselves. This is what Jesus teaches us by his own behavior and ministry on this earth. This is how we light the path into the Kingdom for others to know they are God’s beloved, too.

Our prayer for today asks that we be empowered to “follow daily in the blessed steps of his most holy life.” Jesus didn’t settle for a status quo just to be comfortable. He showed us how to live into the Kingdom characteristics that see the image of God in all people. Jesus knows that peacemaking is hard and often disruptive and he promises that when we follow him into the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven we will have the true peace of living as who and Whose we are, beloved children of our loving God. Instead of settling for being comfortable we will know the comfort and courage of our true selves that grow from the image of God within us. Amen.

That First&Last Thing (MMOW4)

Jesus tells us over and over that the first shall be last and the last shall be first (see Matthew chps 19 & 20; Mark chp 10; Luke chp 13) . It’s a key component of the whole Gospel message that those who are marginalized by earthly powers and kingdoms are not marginalized in God’s Kingdom. But here’s the thing we’ve gotten out of whack: Jesus isn’t reversing the order, he’s undoing it completely. If the first are last and the last are first then the last are first and the first are last and the first are last and the last are first … get it? When you say or type it over and over you can’t remember who’s first and who’s last or even where in the order of words you are. No one is marginalized in God’s Kingdom.

The Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven is about all people being equal. There is no status, no rank, no superiority. In God’s Kingdom there is God and all of God’s beloved children. This is the foundation on which forgiveness, mercy, grace, and redemption, as Jesus shows us how to live them, work.

These Kingdom character traits are about our behavior, not controlling anyone else’s. We don’t demand others forgive, others offer mercy and grace, or others restore broken relationships. We forgive others (we’ll talk more on forgiveness in later posts but for now let me just say forgiveness is about our own growth and wellbeing, if another person doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong, why are they demanding our forgiveness?). We let God’s grace and mercy guide us. We participate with God in the redemption of this world. We follow Jesus.

When we reverse the “first and last” order, we aren’t working with God on the redemptive journey of creation, we are seeking revenge or retaliation. When we look to oppress the oppressors, we aren’t living within the Kingdom economy, we are elevating ourselves and claiming false power, just as the original oppressors. Now, this doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be justice or accountability. There absolutely is justice and accountability in the Kingdom. But we have to separate out revenge and retaliation from our ideas of justice. Justice in God’s Kingdom is always paired with mercy. Without mercy justice devolves into revenge and with out justice mercy devolves into a ‘everyone gets away with all the bad behavior’ free-for-all.

And for everyone to be equal, we have to allow for everyone to take up their own human-sized space in this world. No one should make themselves smaller to accommodate anyone else’s ego trying to take more space than they should.

If you make me uncomfortable yet you aren’t causing harm to another or me, it isn’t you who’s the issue. My ego is the problem. When we are uncomfortable around someone we need to check in with ourselves. Am I uncomfortable because the other person is causing harm to me, someone else, or themselves? Or am I uncomfortable because they are different than me and what I think should be standard for all human beings? And why do I get to decide ‘the standard’ for being human?

As I said in the previous post, I’m not advocating for doing away with authority structures or institutions. I’m trying to help us rethink what we think we know about leadership and discern what it is to be Jesus-led leaders. In seminary, we didn’t do much (if any intentionally) leadership analysis. In my experience in the church I observe a lot of folks trying to fit corporation style leadership models into the church. I find this to be contradictory to what Jesus teaches about leading in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. I want to be intentional when I lead and I want to follow Jesus as I lead. I hope and pray that my exploration of Jesus-led leadership helps you.

There’s lots more to come. Stay tuned. And if you haven’t already, go back and read the first three MMOW posts while you’re waiting for the next one. And share your thoughts and experiences with me. I’d really be grateful if you left a comment.

God’s peace, Y’all.

Eyes to See (MMOW3)

Four years ago I was invited into and excitedly agreed to enter into a co-leadership experiment. Neither one of us would outrank the other, we would collaborate and communicate and share all responsibility. At the time, I thought we had all the right conversations to avoid confusion and that our expectations were the same. I was wrong. But I still believe the co-leadership thing is doable. I believe it is exactly how Jesus shows us in flesh and blood we are to do this church thing, how we are to live.

Now that it has become public that this particular experiment failed, people I know who are leaders in the church are saying ‘it can never work’. I’m saying, respectfully of course, that by following Jesus it can. It should. It must if we are to be Jesus-led leaders. It is ego that says it can’t work and it is ego that caused it not to work.

It is ego that causes us to view life through the lens of competition and ego that demands we think of and work to prove ourselves as being the best or number one or top-dog. It is ego that tells us we have to take others down to make enough room for ourselves. And when ego is ruling the kingdom we cannot ‘co’ anything. We cannot work with ourselves, others, or even God because our hands and heads are too busy trying to hold power over others to protect ego.

When we choose to follow Jesus, we must check our egos at the gate to God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. The leadership that Jesus shows and teaches by his life is a co-leadership. To lead and to have power over others are not the same thing. Jesus does not teach us to hold power over anyone. In fact he very clearly tells us not to. He redirected the disciples when they questioned him about who is the greatest and who among them would have the best seats in the Kingdom. When we see leadership as power, we’ve lost the Jesus plot.

Jesus-led leaders don’t attempt to control anyone or anything. They don’t insist on always having the final say or the only say. Jesus-led leaders work with others always seeking the best for the community they lead/serve, not what strokes their ego. Jesus-led leaders use the power of their position to equip and enable others to fulfill their ministries in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. Jesus-led leaders work with others for the building up of the Kingdom. If in our leadership we are causing harm, we must stop and seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance to recalibrate our compass toward God.

Now, please don’t hear me that there shouldn’t be authority structures. There needs to be if we don’t want chaos. God brings order to chaos and our agreed upon, healthy, authority structures bring order to human life and enable us to thrive. Even within the existing authority structures we are in, we must continuously pay attention and locate our undiscovered biases that perpetuate holding power over others. We must ask for the eyes to see and ears to hear how world-oriented leadership causes harm and be willing to grow and change.

Love Treasure

A reflection on the lectionary readings for the ninth Sunday after Pentecost. The readings are here.

Do not be afraid. Jesus says this phrase more than any other. Without having counted myself, I’d confidently say it’s a statement made in scripture more than any other single phrase. I don’t know if it is there 365 times as some say, but it is in there a lot. And it’s not because Jesus doesn’t know the world is a frightening place. He knows that very well. More on that in a bit.

But first I want to talk about how we use the word ‘world’. Most of the time when we use the word ‘world’ we think of it as Paul does, somehow separate from God’s kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. But Jesus talks of the world and the Kingdom in a way that reminds us we are in this world because this is God’s creation, it is where God created us. We broke the lease in Eden and God sent us out of Eden into the world, protected and cared for, and cautioned against the dangers. And the most dangerous, harmful things in this world are our fellow humans seeking to bring about their own kingdoms in this world.

Jesus comes to us and begins to reintroduce us to the ideals of God’s Kingdom, life as God intended when God made the agreement with those early humans to live with and obey God. God’s Kingdom isn’t any particular ‘place’, but the Way we live in this world that makes the Kingdom visible within it.

The ‘world’ that condemned and killed Jesus wasn’t the people outside of the Temple but those who ran God’s temple while building up their own kingdoms. When we seek to build our own kingdoms, kingdoms we weren’t created for, fear is the normal byproduct. Humans seem to know instinctively, even if we don’t admit it to ourselves or anyone else, that our kingdoms are fleeting and temporary. We know instinctively, too, that God’s Kingdom is the everlasting Kingdom we are created for. And, so, we are afraid, afraid that our kingdoms will be taken from us and so we shape our human relationships – and our relationship with God – by this fear. We create a world for ourselves based on scarcity. If you have something I don’t have I must take it from you, or even defeat you. This human made form of a kingdom puts us at the center, not God.

Abram was afraid and he made his own plan to find an heir. With God’s reassurance Abram grew to treasure God’s promise and plan. Abram turned his heart toward God. Of course, we learn as the story continues to unfold Abram, aka Abraham, and Sarah continue to have moments of fear and doubt and again take matters into their own hands and operate from a place of scarcity created by fear, but God never abandons them. God proceeds with the Kingom-on-earth building and works in, with, and around, the human made kingdoms.

We are told by Jesus and throughout all of scripture to not be afraid because fear is the human emotion that drives the dangers of this world. People who let life be shaped by their fear of losing their self-made and self-centered kingdoms rule with fear. They use their fear to make others afraid so that we too are shaped by fear. It is a dangerous and vicious cycle.

Jesus reminds us of the image of God, the image of Love that is the true center of our createdness. We have to let go of our fear to find it; for some the Image is buried deep under layers and layers of fear: anger, hatred, greed, self-importance, just to name a few. When Jesus tells us to not be afraid, he isn’t pretending there aren’t things to be afraid of, he isn’t denying that fear is a natural human emotion that God gave us as a warning system. Jesus is calling us to remember that we weren’t created in fear for fear but in love and for love.

It is God’s Love and the image of that Love within each of us that we are to let shape us, guide our behaviors, build our relationships. Because it is loving relationship – with God and each other and ourselves – that is the treasure we are created to have. And this treasure is abundant and everlasting. Loving relationships seek mutuality, not control or coercion or power-over others in any way.

We enter into God’s kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven every time we choose to seek mutuality with others. When we make loving, healthy, other-focused relationships our true treasure we have the power stronger than our fear, even as we walk among the dangers of this world. Because like Jesus, even when the kingdom-of-self-seeking powers of this world attack us and try to shape us by fear, we know we are living in the greatest power of all, Love.

Keep loving louder than the hate.

Undiscovered Biases (MMOW2)

In the church of my childhood women were allowed to teach only children and other women. Women could hold no leadership role in the church. As a teen, I remember knowing deep in my heart that God was calling me to a role in the church. I tried to have a conversation with my youth minister but all he could tell me was that maybe I was supposed to marry a preacher. So, I just decided I didn’t know how to listen to God and I buried that calling.

And years later when I was introduced to the Episcopal Church and God reawakened my call, I naively thought that I’d be able to be fully me in the church that ordains women. But even in a church that ordains women, there are undiscovered biases that expect women to adjust themselves to accommodate men’s oversized egos (I’m not saying all men have oversized egos, not all do and those that don’t, don’t expect anyone to adjust to accommodate them).

13 years ago when I was in seminary, I was unpleasantly surprised that people were debating whether it was ‘appropriate’ for women to wear open toed shoes while serving at the altar. I have had countless men in my congregations feel it was their right to comment on my hair, clothing, and color of nail polish. I’ve been told, “you don’t look like a priest.” People will call men who are priests Father LastName and me Mother FirstName or just by my first name and not see the disparity.

At my second parish, on my second or third Sunday there, a precious lady came to say how much she appreciated my sermon and then said she just couldn’t call me Mother because she was so much older than me. I asked her what she called the other priest (who is a man) and she said without hesitation Father MMMM. I asked her if she knew that he was a decade younger than me? I saw the lightbulb go on in her head and she hugged me and apologized and said she was so ashamed that she hadn’t even considered that. I told her there was no reason to be ashamed. We all have undiscovered biases. What’s important is what we do when we discover them. From that moment on, she corrected anyone and everyone who didn’t call me Mother Nancy and told them the story of her epiphany.

We can only discover our undisclosed biases if we are willing to admit we can be wrong about things, if we are willing to continually grow into who God made us to be. Our life on this earth is a journey of growth as we follow Jesus. The moment we say “I’ve got it all figured out” we’ve lost the Jesus plot.

Even with constantly navigating the undiscovered biases of the Episcopal Church, I am grateful to be a member and a priest. It is challenging to lead as a woman, not because God didn’t equip me for such a role but because people don’t always realize they deal with priests who are women and priests who are men differently. Some days, I do think this is one of many reasons God called me to ordination in the Episcopal Church, to help us all uncover more of these biases buried deep within people and the institution. Some days, I wish I wasn’t so passionate about doing so. It’s frustrating and exhausting. Most every day, I seek to be a better Jesus-led leader than I was yesterday. Some days I’m not. And, I’m grateful for all of the people who encourage and love and support my journey.

In the “Musings of a Middle-aged Ordained Woman” (I wish it was a better acronym than MMOW …) blog posts I will explore Jesus-led leadership, whether woman or man. I think we’ve tried (unconsciously or consciously?) too long to lead with power rather than by journeying with others from cooperation to collaboration to communion. I hope you find it helpful. I hope you share it with those you know who want to be Jesus-led leaders. I hope you share your thoughts and experience with me.

I’ll continue to post Sunday reflections and sermons and other ponderings as well. Thanks for journeying with me and keep loving louder than the hate.

Governed by Goodness

A reflection on the readings for the Eighth Sunday after Pentecost. The readings are here.

Well, isn’t the writer of Ecclesiastes a cheery one? While tradition does name Solomon as the author, historical and textual evidence point to it being written after the ancient Israelites returned from the Babylonian exile, long after Solomon was king of Isreal. The disillusionment with ‘everything under the sun’ makes sense as those who have tried to stay faithful to God’s Way lived in the consequences of their leaders deviating from God’s instruction.

“Under the Sun” means life lived outside of God’s Way. The ancient Israelites would have heard this to be life outside of Eden, both literally and metaphorically out of sorts with God’s intent for all of creation. Its juxtaposed with seeking wisdom from all that is done “under heaven,” in alignment with God’s intent, what we would say as “on earth as in heaven.” It is frustrating and perplexing when we give ourselves to the building up of God’s Kingdom on earth as in heaven and watch as those who are devoted to building their own kingdoms undermine, undo, destroy, and prohibit all that we are doing as we follow Jesus. It does feel like all is vanity. The word translated as vanity means vapor or smoke, to convey the idea of emptiness or transitory or uncontrollable.

Jumping forward to the other readings for today, this same idea is there. The psalmist points out the truth that whether we seek to live by the wisdom of God’s way or live life in the pursuit of worldly wealth, we will die. Paul tells the church in Colossae to seek things that are above, which isn’t about going to heaven when we die but living in the kindgom-on-earth-as-in-heaven here and now. So just what is the point of choosing to follow Jesus?

We follow Jesus so that we live as we are made to live, the way Jesus shows us in flesh and blood by his own behavior and actions during in earthly ministry and by the parables he tells. In our gospel reading for today, a man comes to Jesus to ask him to settle a family dispute. As an answer, Jesus offers a warning about being greedy. A life lived storing up monetary wealth and worldly possessions for our own gain is not the life Jesus leads us into. Jesus isn’t gaslighting but giving the man the opportunity to see the wisdom of life as God intends it to be.

Greed is about more than just money or possessions. Greed is an ego problem. Greed is a symptom of a self-centered and self-serving life. When we see others as only a way to get what we want, we are not following Jesus. When consider only ourselves and not how our actions and behaviors impact others, we are not following Jesus. When we are willing to upend other people’s lives so we don’t have to admit fault, we are not following Jesus. When we are wiling to make false accusations against others to hide our own guilt, we are not following Jesus.

Our prayer for today asks God that we, as the church be governed by God’s goodness. The greatest danger God needs to defend us against is our own egos. When we deny the power of God’s love and misuse power to place ourselves above others, either in the church or in the world, we are not following Jesus. We are not glorifying God. As the church, and as particular followers of Jesus, we can’t use our relationship with God as a weapon against others. Jesus only ever offered poeple invitations into the Kingdom. He didn’t seek to coerce or control but to teach us how to live toward communion with God and each other. We walk in relationship with Jesus not for our own benefit but for God’s glory and the building up of the kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. Living as kingdom people is what makes us rich toward God.

We cannot claim the label ‘church’ and also define ourselves by who we exclude rather than who’s invited in. We can’t claim to be a part of the Church and then attempt to do all of the so-called kingdom work by ourselves so that others aren’t able to participate in the building of the Kingdom. When we think we are the smartest, most spiritual, strongest, or wisest we are attempting to store up glory for ourselves, not God.

Being rich toward God puts un on the relational and redemptive journey back to the way God intended life to be in the Garden of Eden. Back to before we humans decided we knew a better way to grow into our humanness than The One who made us.

When we live to build healthy, Jesus centered relationships, we are living in the kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven, we are being the church. We are living the life God made us to live. And yes, we will physically die some day, but we will have begun our everlasting life here and now as we follow Jesus daily into the Kingdom. And this is not fleeting vapor, not vanity. This Jesus following, Kingdom building, God glorifying life is the purpose of being human. Showing us this Way of Life is how God protects and governs us. It is our choice to follow or not. To live an everlasting life or to live life vainly. Following Jesus is what leads us to knowledge, strength, wisdom, and love.

Together, let’s set our minds on things above, where Christ is. Amen.

A Little Background (MMOW1)

7 years ago, I started this blog to speak into the violence and hatred of our culture (you can read about that here).  If feels as if the world has grown more and more hate-filled.  But I continue to write and teach and preach the good news of God’s love because that is what God has called and equipped me to do.  And in all of my humanness I try with God’s help to love well and yet I know there are times I don’t love very well at all.  I ask for and receive God’s forgiveness and I offer myself the grace of trying again.  And again.  

This daily trying again and paying attention leads me to insights about who God is, who God made me to be, and how being present to God’s Love is the antidote for all things that distract me from being who and Whose I am.  It still feels somewhat pretentious to think that what I have to say will have any impact on anyone but I hear from you and you tell me it does so I keep writing and preaching and teaching.  I may not be able to influence the whole world, but together we can help each other be more and more present to God’s Love, to try again and again, and to pay attention. And that, I am certain, is how Jesus teaches us to live in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven here and now.  

I’ve spent my whole life trying not to take up space.  I was born small, 4.5lbs, and am now only 5’1” at my full height (I’m at the age I know I will be shrinking losing physical height as I get older).  Yet, I have always felt as if I was in the way.  I have never felt the freedom to be my full size, literally and figuratively.  

I grew up in a world in which women were expected to make ourselves smaller to accommodate men’s egos.  I can’t fault the men necessarily because they too were taught that women were supposed to do this.  Boys who were assertive were praised as natural born leaders and girls who were assertive were scolded and called bossy.  It was the water we swam in.  I’m not saying it’s acceptable behavior, just that it’s the way it was and since so many have never pondered these undisclosed biases, the way it is.  We all need to be better at checking our egos so that we are neither smaller or larger than we should be.  But both our culture and our society on a larger scale, and our families and communities on a smaller scale still in many ways live a pattern than continually enforces the idea that women have to be less so that there is room for the men.  We have to remember that God made the world with room enough for both – for all of us! – to be fully and boldly human.  

Part of me growing into my full humanness in this Journey with Jesus is to speak and write the truth I know, the truth I am discovering, about who God is and who we are as God’s beloved. And I pray it will give others the courage to do so as well.  So, stay tuned.  I’ll add to my musings a bit each week (in addition to my regular sermon and Sunday reflection posts and the occasional post on what’s happening in the world).  I’d love to hear your thoughts so please share a comment with me below.