Whole

Did you know that May is mental health awareness month? I have to admit, I just discovered that this past week which taught me that I need to be more aware. In all seriousness, our mental health should be taken as seriously as our physical health. When one part of our bodies is out of whack, we know that it impacts the rest of our body and we go to docs to figure it out and navigate whatever possible solutions we have to make us better. When our hearts and souls are out of whack, we need to accept that that too throws our whole life out of order and we need to learn to navigate the therapy, meds, and emotional and spiritual exercises that benefit us all. And we need to make talking about this as normal as going to the doc for our blood pressure or achy joints.

Our gospel reading today was selected for the season of Easter, but it is absolutely perfect for mental health awareness month. For those who participate in the enneagram group, y’all know that this is one of my favorite questions from scripture and often how I introduce the enneagram as a wisdom tool for our wellbeing.

Jesus asks the man who has been sitting by the healing pool for almost 40 years, “Do you want to be well?” Jesus wasn’t testing him, but pointing out that when he is healed his life will change with new ways of living and being and Jesus wants to set realistic expectations. Jesus is concerned about the whole man, not just whether or not he could walk.

This man had spent most if not all of his life dependent on others. We know that this didn’t make him any less worthy than anyone else because really we are all dependent on each other to be well. This is the way God made us, to thrive when we come to the wisdom that needing each other is what truly makes us fully human and to languish when we go through life thinking we don’t need anyone else.

And when I say we need each other, I’m not talking co-dependency in which I am dependent on your perceived value of me to value myself. I am talking about knowing we are all equally loved and valued by God, and that each and every one of us is needed and necessary in building up the Kingdom of God on earth as in heaven.

The Hebrew word translated here as ‘well’ means to be whole. To be whole in God’s Kingdom is to be in relationship with God and others. It isn’t about what we can DO but whose and who we are created to BE: God’s beloved children made in God’s image, made wholly human in love. God made us in love, by love, for love, to love simply because love delights in loving well.

The man by the pool’s culture had told him he was worth less than others, broken, unable to contribute to the world, not needed, not necessary. And, no surprise, this impacted his view of himself. When Jesus asks ‘do you want to be well’ he’s saying everything is about to change for this man because even though Jesus sees him as a whole person and beloved child of God, other’s hadn’t before. The man hadn’t seen himself this way before.

The man believed he was only what others would do for him because that it what his life had taught him. In asking the question, ‘do you want to be whole’ as he healed the man’s physical infirmity, Jesus is giving him agency to live into his full humanness. When Jesus healed physically, he restored people into a community that believed that physical infirmity was the result of sin. We have the scientific and medical knowledge now to know that isn’t always the case. Yes, sometime we abuse our bodies and face the consequences but sometimes our bodies are just ill or broken by no one’s fault.

We also have the wisdom of Jesus to show us that either way, healthy relationships are what enable us to thrive whatever our physical limits may be. When we love as Jesus shows us to love we come to know that we are beloved children of God and so is everyone else.

Our former presiding bishop Michael Curry says “The opposite of love isn’t hate but self-centeredness.” This understanding of love requires that we are self-aware of our own motivations. If I do loving things for another, feeding, clothing, tending, etc., only in order to make myself look ‘holy’ or make myself feel good, I am not, in fact, loving, I’m doing good deeds. But when I do loving acts toward others and accept loving acts in return because I want all of us to thrive together, this is love as Jesus teaches us to love. We love with the wisdom that everyone is infinitely valuable in God’s Kingdom. Together we follow Jesus, growing and learning and always becoming who God makes us to be. As we are made whole by God’s love we accept the responsibility and accountability that comes with being in relationship with God and each other.

Love doesn’t mean we have to accept harmful behaviors from others, in fact, Jesus shows us in flesh and blood that love requires we call people out for harming others including ourselves. Jesus loved both Peter and Judas and called them out for their betrayals. When we let others get away with harm, we teach them that harm is ok, that betrayal is ok and we enable them to cause additional harm to us and to others. That isn’t love.

Holding each other accountable isn’t about punishment or retaliation, it’s about helping each other be the best persons we can be. Love will never require you to ignore or deny your hurt. Love offers space to express hurt so the source of the pain can be discovered. Hurt and pain aren’t the problem, they are symptoms that tell us something needs healing. Love sees your hurt and says how can I help heal it?

Love doesn’t seek to control. Love doesn’t manipulate or coerce. Love doesn’t seek attention. Love doesn’t operate in secret or with secrets. Love doesn’t lie or tear down. Love doesn’t compete or seek to win. Love doesn’t exclude. Love as Jesus loves is big and bold and allows space for everyone who wants to help build up the Kingdom of God-on-earth-as-in-heaven.

When we enter into relationship with others in the name of Jesus, we are accountable to each other, accountable to own up to it when we do cause harm either accidentally or intentionally, and then adjust our behavior so that with God’s help we journey toward “being well,” being whole the whole length of our lives.

By learning to love well, we receive the promises of God, life as we are created to experience it in loving relationship with God and others and ourselves.

In God’s kingdom, our worth isn’t determined by what we do but by who we are, beloved children of God, learning to love as Jesus loves with our whole being – heart, soul, mind, and strength because we are whole and holy human beings with God and each other. Amen.