Undiscovered Biases (MMOW2)

In the church of my childhood women were allowed to teach only children and other women. Women could hold no leadership role in the church. As a teen, I remember knowing deep in my heart that God was calling me to a role in the church. I tried to have a conversation with my youth minister but all he could tell me was that maybe I was supposed to marry a preacher. So, I just decided I didn’t know how to listen to God and I buried that calling.

And years later when I was introduced to the Episcopal Church and God reawakened my call, I naively thought that I’d be able to be fully me in the church that ordains women. But even in a church that ordains women, there are undiscovered biases that expect women to adjust themselves to accommodate men’s oversized egos (I’m not saying all men have oversized egos, not all do and those that don’t, don’t expect anyone to adjust to accommodate them).

13 years ago when I was in seminary, I was unpleasantly surprised that people were debating whether it was ‘appropriate’ for women to wear open toed shoes while serving at the altar. I have had countless men in my congregations feel it was their right to comment on my hair, clothing, and color of nail polish. I’ve been told, “you don’t look like a priest.” People will call men who are priests Father LastName and me Mother FirstName or just by my first name and not see the disparity.

At my second parish, on my second or third Sunday there, a precious lady came to say how much she appreciated my sermon and then said she just couldn’t call me Mother because she was so much older than me. I asked her what she called the other priest (who is a man) and she said without hesitation Father MMMM. I asked her if she knew that he was a decade younger than me? I saw the lightbulb go on in her head and she hugged me and apologized and said she was so ashamed that she hadn’t even considered that. I told her there was no reason to be ashamed. We all have undiscovered biases. What’s important is what we do when we discover them. From that moment on, she corrected anyone and everyone who didn’t call me Mother Nancy and told them the story of her epiphany.

We can only discover our undisclosed biases if we are willing to admit we can be wrong about things, if we are willing to continually grow into who God made us to be. Our life on this earth is a journey of growth as we follow Jesus. The moment we say “I’ve got it all figured out” we’ve lost the Jesus plot.

Even with constantly navigating the undiscovered biases of the Episcopal Church, I am grateful to be a member and a priest. It is challenging to lead as a woman, not because God didn’t equip me for such a role but because people don’t always realize they deal with priests who are women and priests who are men differently. Some days, I do think this is one of many reasons God called me to ordination in the Episcopal Church, to help us all uncover more of these biases buried deep within people and the institution. Some days, I wish I wasn’t so passionate about doing so. It’s frustrating and exhausting. Most every day, I seek to be a better Jesus-led leader than I was yesterday. Some days I’m not. And, I’m grateful for all of the people who encourage and love and support my journey.

In the “Musings of a Middle-aged Ordained Woman” (I wish it was a better acronym than MMOW …) blog posts I will explore Jesus-led leadership, whether woman or man. I think we’ve tried (unconsciously or consciously?) too long to lead with power rather than by journeying with others from cooperation to collaboration to communion. I hope you find it helpful. I hope you share it with those you know who want to be Jesus-led leaders. I hope you share your thoughts and experience with me.

I’ll continue to post Sunday reflections and sermons and other ponderings as well. Thanks for journeying with me and keep loving louder than the hate.

Governed by Goodness

A reflection on the readings for the Eighth Sunday after Pentecost. The readings are here.

Well, isn’t the writer of Ecclesiastes a cheery one? While tradition does name Solomon as the author, historical and textual evidence point to it being written after the ancient Israelites returned from the Babylonian exile, long after Solomon was king of Isreal. The disillusionment with ‘everything under the sun’ makes sense as those who have tried to stay faithful to God’s Way lived in the consequences of their leaders deviating from God’s instruction.

“Under the Sun” means life lived outside of God’s Way. The ancient Israelites would have heard this to be life outside of Eden, both literally and metaphorically out of sorts with God’s intent for all of creation. Its juxtaposed with seeking wisdom from all that is done “under heaven,” in alignment with God’s intent, what we would say as “on earth as in heaven.” It is frustrating and perplexing when we give ourselves to the building up of God’s Kingdom on earth as in heaven and watch as those who are devoted to building their own kingdoms undermine, undo, destroy, and prohibit all that we are doing as we follow Jesus. It does feel like all is vanity. The word translated as vanity means vapor or smoke, to convey the idea of emptiness or transitory or uncontrollable.

Jumping forward to the other readings for today, this same idea is there. The psalmist points out the truth that whether we seek to live by the wisdom of God’s way or live life in the pursuit of worldly wealth, we will die. Paul tells the church in Colossae to seek things that are above, which isn’t about going to heaven when we die but living in the kindgom-on-earth-as-in-heaven here and now. So just what is the point of choosing to follow Jesus?

We follow Jesus so that we live as we are made to live, the way Jesus shows us in flesh and blood by his own behavior and actions during in earthly ministry and by the parables he tells. In our gospel reading for today, a man comes to Jesus to ask him to settle a family dispute. As an answer, Jesus offers a warning about being greedy. A life lived storing up monetary wealth and worldly possessions for our own gain is not the life Jesus leads us into. Jesus isn’t gaslighting but giving the man the opportunity to see the wisdom of life as God intends it to be.

Greed is about more than just money or possessions. Greed is an ego problem. Greed is a symptom of a self-centered and self-serving life. When we see others as only a way to get what we want, we are not following Jesus. When consider only ourselves and not how our actions and behaviors impact others, we are not following Jesus. When we are willing to upend other people’s lives so we don’t have to admit fault, we are not following Jesus. When we are wiling to make false accusations against others to hide our own guilt, we are not following Jesus.

Our prayer for today asks God that we, as the church be governed by God’s goodness. The greatest danger God needs to defend us against is our own egos. When we deny the power of God’s love and misuse power to place ourselves above others, either in the church or in the world, we are not following Jesus. We are not glorifying God. As the church, and as particular followers of Jesus, we can’t use our relationship with God as a weapon against others. Jesus only ever offered poeple invitations into the Kingdom. He didn’t seek to coerce or control but to teach us how to live toward communion with God and each other. We walk in relationship with Jesus not for our own benefit but for God’s glory and the building up of the kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. Living as kingdom people is what makes us rich toward God.

We cannot claim the label ‘church’ and also define ourselves by who we exclude rather than who’s invited in. We can’t claim to be a part of the Church and then attempt to do all of the so-called kingdom work by ourselves so that others aren’t able to participate in the building of the Kingdom. When we think we are the smartest, most spiritual, strongest, or wisest we are attempting to store up glory for ourselves, not God.

Being rich toward God puts un on the relational and redemptive journey back to the way God intended life to be in the Garden of Eden. Back to before we humans decided we knew a better way to grow into our humanness than The One who made us.

When we live to build healthy, Jesus centered relationships, we are living in the kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven, we are being the church. We are living the life God made us to live. And yes, we will physically die some day, but we will have begun our everlasting life here and now as we follow Jesus daily into the Kingdom. And this is not fleeting vapor, not vanity. This Jesus following, Kingdom building, God glorifying life is the purpose of being human. Showing us this Way of Life is how God protects and governs us. It is our choice to follow or not. To live an everlasting life or to live life vainly. Following Jesus is what leads us to knowledge, strength, wisdom, and love.

Together, let’s set our minds on things above, where Christ is. Amen.

A Little Background (MMOW1)

7 years ago, I started this blog to speak into the violence and hatred of our culture (you can read about that here).  If feels as if the world has grown more and more hate-filled.  But I continue to write and teach and preach the good news of God’s love because that is what God has called and equipped me to do.  And in all of my humanness I try with God’s help to love well and yet I know there are times I don’t love very well at all.  I ask for and receive God’s forgiveness and I offer myself the grace of trying again.  And again.  

This daily trying again and paying attention leads me to insights about who God is, who God made me to be, and how being present to God’s Love is the antidote for all things that distract me from being who and Whose I am.  It still feels somewhat pretentious to think that what I have to say will have any impact on anyone but I hear from you and you tell me it does so I keep writing and preaching and teaching.  I may not be able to influence the whole world, but together we can help each other be more and more present to God’s Love, to try again and again, and to pay attention. And that, I am certain, is how Jesus teaches us to live in the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven here and now.  

I’ve spent my whole life trying not to take up space.  I was born small, 4.5lbs, and am now only 5’1” at my full height (I’m at the age I know I will be shrinking losing physical height as I get older).  Yet, I have always felt as if I was in the way.  I have never felt the freedom to be my full size, literally and figuratively.  

I grew up in a world in which women were expected to make ourselves smaller to accommodate men’s egos.  I can’t fault the men necessarily because they too were taught that women were supposed to do this.  Boys who were assertive were praised as natural born leaders and girls who were assertive were scolded and called bossy.  It was the water we swam in.  I’m not saying it’s acceptable behavior, just that it’s the way it was and since so many have never pondered these undisclosed biases, the way it is.  We all need to be better at checking our egos so that we are neither smaller or larger than we should be.  But both our culture and our society on a larger scale, and our families and communities on a smaller scale still in many ways live a pattern than continually enforces the idea that women have to be less so that there is room for the men.  We have to remember that God made the world with room enough for both – for all of us! – to be fully and boldly human.  

Part of me growing into my full humanness in this Journey with Jesus is to speak and write the truth I know, the truth I am discovering, about who God is and who we are as God’s beloved. And I pray it will give others the courage to do so as well.  So, stay tuned.  I’ll add to my musings a bit each week (in addition to my regular sermon and Sunday reflection posts and the occasional post on what’s happening in the world).  I’d love to hear your thoughts so please share a comment with me below.  

Kingdom Prayer

I’m not preaching this week but wanted to offer this reflection on the Gospel reading for today. I pray you find it beneficial.

When asked by his disciples to teach them to pray, Jesus offers the framework of prayer that is more about God and God’s wants than it is about us. It is a prayer of reliance on God and being satisfied with God and God’s way. It doesn’t invite Jesus into our hearts or ask for a ticket into Heaven but asks God to show us how to live in the kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven right now. And it makes our primary task worship followed by the awareness of God’s Kingdom all around us and our dependence on God and our interdependence on each other.

And then, to drive his point home, Jesus tells a parable of a persistent neighbor. Let’s set a little time and culture context here for better understanding: to feed a guest was imperative to their hospitality centered culture, even a guest who showed up unannounced in the middle of the night. You couldn’t just say “I didn’t make it to the HEB today but we’ll go get breakfast tacos in the morning.” When a guest appeared, there was to be food and a meal, no matter the time or what else was going on. To be inhospitable was not only an individual failure but a communal failure as well. If you didn’t take proper care of your guests, your whole community was shamed. So you go next door and wake up your neighbor. And if they get annoyed, keep knocking until they help because you can’t bring shame down on the community.

So what does this parable have to do with the prayer structure Jesus teaches? I’m so glad you asked! The prayer and the parable are parallels of each other.

Your Kingdom come = the friends, the one who asks, the one who’s at home, and the one’s who’s just arrived. The building blocks of Gods’ Kingdom on earth as in heaven are relationships. The economy of the Kingdom is love. As we love each other well, we build up the kingdom.

Give us each day our daily bread = I don’t have what I need so I’ll ask my neighbor if I can use some of theirs. God’s Kingdom isn’t about having more than our neighbor but working with each other so we all have what we need. We should be content with what we need and not hoard more to keep it from others. We are all in need of something at times. It isn’t a weakness or a flaw. It’s part of being human as God made us. God provides our needs through other people. God made us to be interdependent.

Forgive our sins as we forgive debts = ‘lend me three loaves.’ Our western minds often hear this as a transaction: God forgives us and in return we forgive others. Yet, God isn’t transaction, God is relational. In all of our relationships, forgiveness is to be mutual; forgiveness is about loving well. Forgiveness doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences for harm done but that we don’t harbor resentment or seek retaliation. Healthy relationships don’t have double standards. We accept accountability for harm we’ve done and we let go of the anger when we are the one harmed.

Do not bring us to the time of trial = ‘at least because of his persistence’. We are asking God to help us pay attention to each other’s needs so that no one has to cause harm to get what they need and to help us not see others asking for help as an inconvenience but a chance to participate in the economy of God’s kingdom.

And then, to make sure we get it, Jesus gives this somewhat convoluted list of knocking/opening/parent/child/fish/snake/egg/scorpion/good gifts metaphors. God knows what we need better than we do, but Jesus tells us to ask God for what we need. Not because God is a petty god who withholds what we need but because God wants us to live in relationship. God delights in giving us good gifts. And with God, we don’t have to be pesky. God answers. But that doesn’t mean God will give us whatever we want. We have to be mature enough to know the difference between needs and wants. In our modern middle class western culture, we are so used to getting most anything we want and, really, we don’t think much about our needs because they are met. We turn on the faucet and there’s water. We open the pantry and there’s food and if we are out of bread we go to HEB and get more. What do we really need to ask God for?

It’s not about the stuff. It’s about all that makes us human, God’s beloved people. In the economy of God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven, we are all accountable for tending to each other’s needs whether they are emotional, spiritual, intellectual, or physical (remember the whole heart, soul, mind, and strength command?). These are part of being human. When we pretend we don’t have any needs and think we are here only to fulfill others needs we are not being fully human. When we see others as only a tool to fill our needs and don’t pay attention to theirs, we are not being fully human.

Life in God’s Kingdom is about our interdependence, loving God with our whole being and loving our neighbor as ourselves. This is what Jesus commands us; it is what he teaches us to pray for. Prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind but about shaping our hearts and minds to reflect the image of God within us.

Keep loving louder than the hate.

Choosing what I don’t (and do) know

Today was a hard day. I guess it started last evening when Jim’s daughter texted me to say it was the 9 month anniversary of his death. I realized that I was still saying he’s been gone for 6 months. Her birthday is today and we talked about “getting through the firsts.” I got to thinking about the firsts we’ve been through: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Jim’s Birthday, Easter, my Birthday, and I can’t remember how I got through any of them. I’ve been on autopilot for much of the past nine months.

So, all this was on my mind as I walked out the front door this morning to head for the church and discovered an issue with my car. My reaction was to turn around and go back in … to tell Jim. But he isn’t here. So I texted my son (who lives 4 hours away and I knew he couldn’t do anything but he’s the longest known constant in my life I know I can depend on so I reflexively reached out) as well as a gentleman from the church who is so very kind and has said ‘call me if you need anything.’ Between the two of them and me texting pictures of the issue, we decided it was ok to drive carefully to the church where he could look at it.

I know nothing of cars except how to drive one and how to put gas in. I don’t even like driving, it’s just a necessity that I must do in life. My son’s response was so encouraging. He assumed that if he told me what needed to be done, I could just crawl under there with the right tools and do it, which I took as a great compliment. He thinks his mum is capable of doing whatever needs doing! I choose, however, not to know about fixing cars or to learn it. And yet, this whole situation made me teary and feel incompetent, even with my son’s compliment. Talking it through with a wise friend, I realized what I was actually feeling was sadness, and yes, a bit of anger, that Jim wasn’t with me to help me solve the problem. He knew lots about cars and liked doing ‘car stuff’. We used to joke that when he retired he’d be my full-time chauffeur. But then he realized he’d have to get up early to drive me to work so he said he’d be my evening and weekend chauffeur only.

This was another first – my first real car issue since Jim died. The thickness of my grief has begun to thin and so I wonder if I can more clearly see and experience the firsts? It won’t be long until I’m journeying through the ‘seconds’. I wonder how it will all feel. I’ll know when I get there. What I do know now is this: having been raised in a family in which emotions were inconvenient, I’m grateful to be learning to face my emotions (yes, even the painful ones), to work with them, learn from them, and experience life fully with them because emotions are part of how God made us to be human. And I want to continuously grow into who God made me to be. I’ve chosen to know more about what it is to be fully human. I can find someone who knows more about cars and can fix them. I can’t find anyone else to be me except me. I am most fully me in relationship with God and with others when I accept and live into the fullness of being human: heart, soul, mind, and strength (aka: emotions, the ‘self’ that makes me me, thoughts, physicality).

I pray that if you hesitate to acknowledge your emotions or any part of your humanness that sharing my experiences will encourage you to explore why. It’s not selfish or self-centered. It’s part of learning to love God, our neighbors, and ourselves with our whole humanness. We are never too old to begin this work of being fully who God made us to be.

And just to tie up the story – the parishioner met me at the church and was able to make it a bit safer to drive so that I could get it to the mechanic. The issue is fixed and I’m safely home again. I am so grateful for all who are willing to do life with me and give me the privilege of doing life with you.

Keep loving louder than the hate in this world!

Being Human

A sermon preached at St. Francis by the Lake Episcopal Church, Canyon Lake, Texas.
The lectionary readings for the sixth Sunday after Pentecost are here.

Our gospel story this morning is one most of us know well. Jesus is at the home of his friends and devoted disciples although not allowed to claim the title because they were women, Mary and Martha. Martha is doing all that she thinks is necessary in order to provide Jesus with a pleasant and hospitable time in her home. She invited Jesus in and then continued to do all that she normally did.

Martha sees her sister Mary sitting with and listening to Jesus – To be at Jesus’ feet is an idiom that means a posture of learning and humility – and instead of listening herself, Martha’s resentment grows and rather than join her sister at Jesus’ feet, she makes an attempt to coerce Jesus on to her side. “Tell her to help me!” Martha insists. She invited Jesus in and then tells Jesus to follow her lead.

Now, don’t get me wrong, what Martha is doing, the tasks she is performing, aren’t bad. She’s wanting to offer Jesus the cultural norm of hospitality but her motivation is out of whack. Jesus knows this and doesn’t belittle or condemn her; he doesn’t even tell her that the work doesn’t need doing. He tells her that she doesn’t need to be worried about proving herself, that what’s most important is to be with each other. Jesus invited Martha to follow him into the Kingdom where cultivating and nurturing healthy relationship is the purpose of all the activities and tasks we do.

True hospitality is being kind and welcoming AND curious about those we invite; true hospitality isn’t about proving how hospitable we are but about nurturing our relationships. The tasks still need doing but its when we use the tasks to prove ourselves or earn gratitude or control things, like Martha, we’ve let ourselves be distracted by, well, ourselves. We’ve taken our eyes off of Jesus. And when we let ourselves be distracted from being fully human, we miss out on relationships and we miss out on God’s presence with us.

In his book The Expectation Gap, pastor Steve Cuss talks about the Big 5 False Needs that people have: Control, Perfection, Knowing All, Always Available, and Approval. At various levels some struggle with all 5, some with a few of the five but everyone has an internal struggle with at least one. This is similar to the work I do with the Enneagram, discovering what needs we are trying to get met by our regular patterns of behavior and that the good of us is, when misdirected, the worst in us.

Steve presents it this way: Each of these false human needs are traits of God’s character: God is in Control, God alone is perfect, God is all knowing, God is always available to us, and God gives us his approval through his righteousness. These are false human needs because we are not God and shouldn’t try to be. We don’t need to be in control of everything around us because God is; God doesn’t demand our perfection but calls us to completion in relationship with God; we can live life curiously because God knows all; God is always available to everyone so we don’t have to be the superheroes; God frees us from needing human approval with God’s unconditional love.

When we try to make God’s traits our responsibility, we are trying to be God instead of being human. We aren’t trusting God to be God. Like Martha, we are inviting Jesus in and then telling him to follow us.

Martha wasn’t doing anything wrong, the dishes need doing. Martha had her priorities out of order; she had made doing more important than being. Jesus teaches us that our highest priority of life is cultivating and nurturing our relationships. Relationships are the true treasure of God’s kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. When we give our attention and energy to trying to be god-like rather than following Jesus, not only do our human relationships suffer but so does our relationship with God.

When folks ask me to describe St. Francis by the Lake, the first thing I always talk about is Decktime. This time is set aside each week for the sole purpose of being in relationship. We gather with food and beverages and as more folks come in, we drag more chairs over until we need another table and then we rearrange again, always making room for everyone who shows up. And if it’s monthly potluck night, when the time comes to shift from snacks to dinner, no one has an assigned job, we just all chip in to reset and then clean up after, because yes the dishes need doing and it’s our collective responsibility to do them. Part of being in healthy, growing relationship is doing the necessary tasks together, not letting the burden fall on one, nor taking the burden solely on ourself. Life in God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven is about doing life together as we follow Jesus, each of us doing what we are capable of, from praying, to organizing, from encouraging to doing dishes or stacking the chairs. There’s something for each of us as we are able.

When we let go of the distractions of proving ourselves and focus on cultivating our relationships we are choosing the better part. When we work together for the benefit of all we are choosing the better part. When we always make room for others we are choosing the better part.

The better part is living life on God’s terms, accepting God’s love for us and not working to earn it; believing that God sees us as invaluable; trusting God’s forgiveness and God’s desire to redeem all of creation. The better part is letting ourselves be human together and in relationship with God because it is in relationship with God that we are most fully human.

The good news, the Gospel, is that we are all invited into the Kingdom as we are. Following Jesus in the Kingdom Way of living teaches us how to be Kingdom people. We don’t have to prove ourselves to be Kingdom people or earn the right. We don’t have to be perfect or control everything and everyone or know everything or fulfill everyone’s every need or have everyone’s approval. We merely have to be human.

As humans we aren’t perfect but we are enough in God’s eyes.

As humans we can’t control everything or everyone but we are loved so that we can love well.

As humans we can’t know everything but we can be always curious about each other and God’s creation.

As humans we can’t fulfill every need in this world but we can do life together with God so that none of us are in need.

As humans we can never gain everyone’s approval but we have God’s unconditional love in abundance so we can share that love with everyone.

That’s why it’s good news! God’s love for us is enough, God’s grace and mercy are sufficient.

We glorify God in our lives by being the humans God made us to be. We don’t have to be super human, we don’t have to be god-like. We can’t be. We honor God and all of creation by being who and Whose we are created to be: humans who follow Jesus, the One who is God in human form. And if God is willing to be one of us to show us in flesh and blood how to be fully us, being human is pretty special indeed!

God is God and we are human, beloved people made by God because God loves. When we let go of the distractions that tell us we must be something other than God’s beloved, we enter the freedom of God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. We begin the journey of becoming fully human by following Jesus, remaining steadfast in our faith, firm in the hope of the good news, working with God and each other to build up the Kingdom of God. Amen.

Bodywork

I have a confession. I store my stress in my body. I know this is not news for any of us, but sometimes I’m slow to realize things. I mean, I had a series of heart attacks when I was 40 with no prior warning and even after reviewing my medical and my family history my cardiologist finally came to the conclusion that my heart attacks were a fluke. That was 18 years ago and me and my 3 coronary stents (named Fred, George, and Sam because why wouldn’t I name them?) are still alive. And still storing stress in my body.

I’ve never spent much time thinking about my body except when something is wrong with it. I do make some effort to manage my health. I told my cardiologist that I want to live to be 100 and he said if I did all that he told me to do and didn’t step in front of any buses that it was a definite possibility. So, I take my meds, I exercise, I eat semi-healthy most of the time, and I try to be careful around buses. However, two and a half years ago I had emergency surgery to remove a bleeding fibroid from my uterus along with the uterus, ovaries, tubes, cervix, and several dozen fibroids in my abdominal cavity. There were signs that something was wrong but I was busy and had things to do and didn’t go to the doc until it was ER urgent. I grieved at the time over losing what I felt biologically made me a woman. And then I got busy and had things to do and became impatient with my body for taking weeks and weeks to recover from major abdominal surgery. So perhaps I need to pay better attention to me.

In some recent therapy work, we discussed what a gift our bodies are. It is with and through our bodies that we experience the world. We get to see beautiful sunsets and sunrises, hear music, feel the hugs from loved ones, taste ice cream and chocolate and coffee and wine. I hadn’t ever really thought about my body as a gift. I know life is a gift but to realize that it is with my body that I receive God’s gift of life is a new realization for me. And, yes, it feels like a ‘duh’ moment.

I had a massage today and as the therapist began, in rhythm with my breathing I found myself thanking God for the amazing gift of my body. It was a time of incredible awareness of both my body as me and me as God’s beloved. I don’t know how else to say it. It was deeply moving. For the first time that I can recall in my 58 years on this planet, I truly appreciated my physical body even as the therapist did the painful work of removing the knots in my shoulders and back. My body has many flaws and it is how I live life and experience this world, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I am so very grateful. When Jesus says the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, he’s not speaking of four different parts of us but of the entirety of our being, our ‘us,’ our humanness, that which God created good and the tipping point that moved Creation from good to very good. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve preached and taught this but today, it truly came alive in me. Thanks be to God (and a really good massage therapist).

Thank you, Loving God, for your gift of this physical body, for the gift of me. Give me the wisdom to care for this treasure, to be in this body who you created and continuously call me to be. My I live into the great commandment of loving you with my heart, soul, mind, and strength, all of me as you made me. Amen.

Life’s Lens

Some thoughts on being a neighbor on a non-preaching Sunday.
The lectionary readings for today are here.

This past week, I posted some thoughts on my personal facebook page in which I invoked the story of the Good Samaritan without looking ahead to see that this parable is the Gospel reading for today. I’ll take a bit from that post and put it in a slightly different frame.

The Gospel reading for today begins with a lawyer testing Jesus. “Just then” we are told, a lawyer stands up. It’s unclear just where Jesus is. He’s been speaking both publicly and privately to the disciples and so this ‘just then’ is an abrupt interruption that makes us pay close attention to what comes next. One of the things we tend to overlook in the stories of our scriptures is the motivations of the people. And yet, the authors make the effort to write them. Motivations matter. The lawyer wanted to justify himself, as many do when they are looking to validate their own way of being rather than to learn from a wise teacher how to grow and be a better human.

The lawyer could quote the great commandment to love God with our whole being and love our neighbor as ourselves, but he wanted a loophole, a way to justify not loving his neighbor. In response to the lawyer’s test, Jesus tells a story of a man who most Jews would not claim as a neighbor, a man from Samaria.

With the parable, Jesus turns the understanding of ‘neighbor’ on its head. Jesus makes it clear that who we define as our neighbor is about how we treat others, not the proximity or origin of the ‘others’. Jesus tells the story and then asks ‘which of these was a neighbor to the man who was robbed and beaten?’ He didn’t ask was the man robbed and beaten a neighbor and should the samaritan have done what he should. Jesus takes away the possibility of a loophole. The point of the parable is determining whether or not I am behaving as a good neighbor not who I do or do not put the label ‘neighbor’ on.

The point and purpose of God’s commandments is to shape our hearts to be like God’s heart. As we live into God’s commandments we are continuously transformed as God’s beloved children; it’s a lifelong growth journey. When we see life with the lens that God’s commandments are a checklist to earn our way into the Kingdom, we are motivated to look for the loopholes that justify how we already are. Love is the lens through which Jesus teaches us to see. When the lawyer answers that the neighbor is the one who shows mercy Jesus tells him to go and do likewise.

It should be the constant question for ourselves: am I revealing God’s love with my whole being, heart, soul, mind, and strength? Am I loving my neighbor as myself? Am I living into God’s commandments or looking to earn my way into the Kingdom? Jesus came to live and die as one of us so that we don’t have to justify ourselves, to show us in flesh and blood that God doesn’t operate transactionally but covenantally and redemptively. God desires to be in relationship with us not to do business transactions with us. God invites us all to participate in the building up of the Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven.

The stories we have in our Holy Scriptures are to help us grow into who God calls us be to, not to justify ourselves. If we approach scripture looking for weapons to dehumanize others we will find them because that is what we are looking for. When we approach them as a means of opening ourselves to God’s transforming love, our hearts will be shaped by God’s heart so we are equipped to share the good news of God’s love with our hurting world. Amen.

Life With

A sermon preached at St. Francis by the Lake Episcopal Church in Canyon Lake, TX.
The readings for the fourth Sunday after Pentecost are here.

It’s been a rough couple of days – our 4th of July festivities were tempered by the devastating floods in Kerrville with 43+ lives lost followed by the anxiety of knowing the raging Guadalupe would continue to cause damage as it made it’s way to the Lake. And as the rain continued to fall yesterday, our own community was under threat of devastation. As desperate as we’ve all been for water in the lake, it just doesn’t feel right to be happy about it when it comes with pain and sorrow in it’s path.

Life is complicated. It’s a mix of joy and pain and it’s uncomfortable to hold this mix of emotion and yet that’s part of being human, isn’t it. Our hearts ache with those who are still waiting and searching for loved ones. We want to jump in and help in some way but right now the best and most necessary thing we can do is pray. To quote our bishops in their joint letter to the diocese yesterday, “Prayer is not sitting by passively and doing nothing.  Prayer is hope in action.  It moves mountains and tunes our hearts to the heart of Jesus.  Pray big prayers for the missing.  Pray big prayers for their families and friends.  Pray big prayers for first responders and rescue workers.  Pray big prayers for St. Peter’s Church, Kerrville and the Hill Country camping community.” And I’ll add pray big prayers for those north of us in Travis county. Pray big prayers for our own community and those impacted by the flash flooding along River Road and Rebecca Creek Road. “Pray big prayers not just one day or one Sunday, but for the next 30 days” and beyond as we know the recovery efforts will go on for months.

There is no better way to explore just how complicated life can be than with the stories and letters we read each week from our faith ancestors as they experienced and were shaped by the God of creation. Who better to show us how to navigate this life than the One who made us, the One who chose to become one of us and knows us better than we want to know ourselves. When Jesus gave us the greatest commandment to love God with our whole being and to love our neighbor as ourselves, he gave us the lens through which we are to see life.

There are so many layers to explore in today’s Gospel reading. It was a challenge to narrow down what we can look at in these few minutes together, and even more difficult as the events of the past two days had me relook at what I needed to say. This passage follows immediately after Jesus saying “anyone who puts his hand to the plow and looks back isn’t fit for God’s Kingdom.” Today’s section of the text actually begins with “after these things” Jesus appointed seventy others. ‘Others’ being in addition to the twelve Jesus had already commissioned to go ahead to prepare the way for him as he makes his way to Jerusalem. Jesus sent them out in pairs, not to be individual heroes, not to be in competition with each other but to do life with each other as Jesus had taught them to do life with God. He sent them out to be like lambs among the wolves. He warns them of the wolves in the world, those who prey on the vulnerable, and he cautions them against behaving like the wolves.

He sent them to proclaim peace, God’s peace, peace that is so much more than just an absence of conflict but the kind of peace that comes from knowing to whom we belong, the kind of peace that comes when we see our fellow humans as companions not competitors. The kind of peace that knows that every human being is intrinsically valuable because they are created by God. The kind of peace that gives us the strength and courage to deal with the tragedies and complexities of this life.

This peace that God gives us isn’t a limited commodity but an abundant resource that grows as we offer it to others. This peace isn’t forced or coerced or found by lording power over others. This peace comes with finding our identity in God, as God’s beloved, living in the economy of God’s Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. An economy in which love and compassion and empathy increase the more we give them away.

And when we encounter those who want to live life as a competition, who don’t want to live peaceably, we aren’t to join them but stand confidently in the knowledge of God’s love for all people, continuing to proclaim the Kingdom of God is right here with us. The dust that we are to wipe off is the inclination to villainize those we disagree with, the inclination to fight against others rather than walk with them. When we join in the competition to be better than others, we become the wolves not the lambs.

When these seventy come back delighted by what God had equipped them to do for others, Jesus cautions them to not let it go to their heads, to not let it enlarge their egos but to remember who and Whose they are and the reason for going to begin with.

If I didn’t know that Paul’s letters were written before the gospels I’d think that Paul was preaching to the Galatians on our passage from Luke. The common thread between the two is how we are to walk through life together as we live in this now and not yet Kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven.

Paul tells the Galatians that we are to bear one another’s burdens and that we each carry our own loads. Our load is our regular, ordinary obligations as we continuously grow into who God calls us to be. Carrying our loads isn’t a competition where we have to convince others ours is better or theirs means less than ours. Our loads are our loads and everyone has one. Burdens are when our loads become too much for us, either extra is added on, or we for some reason just can’t carry what we once did. We all have burdens and we all need help with them. No one is better or worse because of the burdens; we are all human with them. As we journey through this life together, we work for the good of all, sharing the peace and love of God in the new creation, aware than not all who claim to be of God truly are, some are wolves wearing an ill fitting sheep skin. We are to discern the good to do through the lens of the great commandment: loving God with our whole being and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

As the full impact of the weather events of these past two days come to light, many will need help with burdens because their ordinary loads have been upended. And as we come together to help each other and our hill country neighbors, I pray we are shaped and transformed to better see others as companions along the way.

Life is a complicated mix of joy and pain and we need each other to navigate our way in the Kingdom working for peace and the good of all. Jesus shows us that this is how we live most fully as the humans God created and calls us to be. Amen.

Breathing in the ordinary

A reflection on today’s lectionary readings, particularly Paul’s letter to the Galatians and the Gospel reading from Luke.

These past eight months have been for me a time of resetting – figuring out new routines, new ways of handling the ordinary, daily stuff like laundry and yard work and grocery shopping; of managing my schedule so the dogs are cared for; and keeping myself fed slightly better than a bowl of Cheerios for dinner because cooking for one is, well, a bit depressing. I am feeling like I’m coming out of the depths, like I can breathe a bit better and moving through the days is less and less like walking in a pool filled with pudding (not that I’ve ever done such a thing, this is just my attempt at a metaphor of walking, neck deep, through something thick and sticky).

I find it fitting that as we enter into the church season of ‘ordinary time’ that some of my new routines are beginning to feel ordinary. The Sunday lectionary readings for the next six months will focus on living life as Jesus teaching us in flesh and blood in the ordinary moments of our lives. Life as we follow Jesus is done together grounded in loving God, our neighbors, and ourselves. God made humans to be communal, interdependent on each other as we journey together toward wholeness in God. This is our unifying purpose, defined by who and Whose we are, not who we may or may not be against.

In the letter to the church in Galatia, Paul tells us that the fruit of the (Holy) Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Please note, ‘fruit’ is singular. These aren’t a cafeteria list of things we can pick and choose. They are a singular package of ‘gifts’, a community manifestation of God’s love for the whole world. When we choose to live by the Spirit, we will produce this fruit, love-joy-peace-patience-kindness-generosity-faithfulness-gentleness-self-control fruit.

When we choose to follow Jesus and are guided by the Spirit, our whole lives change. Jesus invites us to bring our whole life under his reign, be it the grief and pain that comes from burying our loved ones or the relationships of those we do life with on a daily basis. Responding to Jesus’ invitation ‘follow me’ isn’t to church on Sunday or a commitment we can step in and out of as it’s convenient for us. It is a daily, lifelong journey through which our lives produce the fruit of the Spirit just as Jesus did. If we find ourselves on a journey defined by fear and anger and who we are against, we can be certain we are not following Jesus.

In the gospel story, Jesus isn’t telling these two would-be followers to turn their backs on their loved ones, but to live into all of their relationships from the foundation of God’s kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven. We can’t keep one foot in our life before Jesus and one in the Kingdom. Our commitment to God is with our whole being, our whole life, the moments of deepest grief and greatest joy and all the ordinary moments in between. The kingdom-on-earth-as-in-heaven isn’t an exclusive club we earn or buy our way into so that we can say we are ‘better’ than others. The good of the fruit of the Spirit is for the benefit of all, not just those who have committed to following Jesus. We bear the fruit for the benefit of the whole world, extending Jesus’ invitation to ‘follow me’ in a way that really is good news so that all of us can breathe a bit easier in this challenging world.