Undiscovered Biases, Part 2 (MMOW5)

I want to share a few more personal anecdotes from my experience with leadership in the church to help us all open up to our undiscovered biases (and, please, if you detect any of mine, please speak up!) before we start diving into some of the parables Jesus tells from which I’ve discerned what I’ve come to call Jesus-led leadership.

A few years ago, when I had been at a parish for about 6 months, we were in the moments before a high holy day worship service. Those who were serving during the service were all preparing, putting on vestments, reviewing the bulletin, and asking questions about the flow of the service. One man who was serving as an acolyte came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Another man who was a visiting deacon came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Another man who is a retired priest came with bulletin in hand and asked about the movement at a specific place in the service. I talked him through it and asked if he had questions. He said no and then walked over to the other priest (who is a man) and asked him the same question and was given the same answer. Other women who were serving asked me questions as well and then didn’t proceed to go to the other priest to repeat their questions.

Unfortunately, this was not an unusual scenario in the church, even in the Episcopal church that has been ordaining women since 1979. And, I bet you not one of these three men or the other priest saw anything amiss with their actions. These are the undiscovered biases we all have. At the time, I didn’t have the time or energy to talk with any of them about their actions. And, I told myself, they are still getting used to me.

Not long after this, some members of the parish were gathering for a special class I was leading on a Saturday. Just before we began, a call came in about a parishioner who was supposed to be joining us but was having a medical emergency. The other priest of the parish left to meet them at the hospital and I would continue with the class for those present. I called the room to prayer for the parishioner, their family, the medical team, and the safety of the priest in making his way to the hospital. After the prayer, I began to hand out the class materials so we could begin as we were already about half an hour behind schedule.

One of the class attendees who had stepped out of the room when the other priest left for the hospital came back in and without looking at or communicating with me, called for everyone’s attention and began to pray. Now, I know there is always room for prayer but he interrupted me offering directions for the group and prayed as if I hadn’t. And when he sat down he looked at me and told me I could begin, as if he were in charge of the room. I saw looks of perplexity on many faces (and if I had a mirror on my own I’m sure), shrugged, and continued. Undiscovered biases, I told myself.

Jesus-led leadership is given, not assumed or taken. To take, assume, or demand authority isn’t leadership but an attempt at domination led by our egos not Jesus.

When I accept the role of leader in a group, I also accept the responsibility and accountability that comes with the authority given to me. To want authority without the accountability and responsibility is not leadership. Jesus-led leadership is never assumed but always an answer to an invitation. Jesus-led leadership is cultivated in ongoing relationships grounded in Jesus’ invitation ‘follow me’.