Bodywork

I have a confession. I store my stress in my body. I know this is not news for any of us, but sometimes I’m slow to realize things. I mean, I had a series of heart attacks when I was 40 with no prior warning and even after reviewing my medical and my family history my cardiologist finally came to the conclusion that my heart attacks were a fluke. That was 18 years ago and me and my 3 coronary stents (named Fred, George, and Sam because why wouldn’t I name them?) are still alive. And still storing stress in my body.

I’ve never spent much time thinking about my body except when something is wrong with it. I do make some effort to manage my health. I told my cardiologist that I want to live to be 100 and he said if I did all that he told me to do and didn’t step in front of any buses that it was a definite possibility. So, I take my meds, I exercise, I eat semi-healthy most of the time, and I try to be careful around buses. However, two and a half years ago I had emergency surgery to remove a bleeding fibroid from my uterus along with the uterus, ovaries, tubes, cervix, and several dozen fibroids in my abdominal cavity. There were signs that something was wrong but I was busy and had things to do and didn’t go to the doc until it was ER urgent. I grieved at the time over losing what I felt biologically made me a woman. And then I got busy and had things to do and became impatient with my body for taking weeks and weeks to recover from major abdominal surgery. So perhaps I need to pay better attention to me.

In some recent therapy work, we discussed what a gift our bodies are. It is with and through our bodies that we experience the world. We get to see beautiful sunsets and sunrises, hear music, feel the hugs from loved ones, taste ice cream and chocolate and coffee and wine. I hadn’t ever really thought about my body as a gift. I know life is a gift but to realize that it is with my body that I receive God’s gift of life is a new realization for me. And, yes, it feels like a ‘duh’ moment.

I had a massage today and as the therapist began, in rhythm with my breathing I found myself thanking God for the amazing gift of my body. It was a time of incredible awareness of both my body as me and me as God’s beloved. I don’t know how else to say it. It was deeply moving. For the first time that I can recall in my 58 years on this planet, I truly appreciated my physical body even as the therapist did the painful work of removing the knots in my shoulders and back. My body has many flaws and it is how I live life and experience this world, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I am so very grateful. When Jesus says the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, he’s not speaking of four different parts of us but of the entirety of our being, our ‘us,’ our humanness, that which God created good and the tipping point that moved Creation from good to very good. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve preached and taught this but today, it truly came alive in me. Thanks be to God (and a really good massage therapist).

Thank you, Loving God, for your gift of this physical body, for the gift of me. Give me the wisdom to care for this treasure, to be in this body who you created and continuously call me to be. My I live into the great commandment of loving you with my heart, soul, mind, and strength, all of me as you made me. Amen.