The Prodigal SonS

A reflection on Luke 15:11-32

In the story of the prodigal son, do you think much about the older son? We like the nicely completed story of the younger son who decided to leave the family ranch for the big city, demanding his share of the family wealth as he goes. It’s easy to see how he squandered the gifts he had. And it gives us a sense of completion to see him return, destitute, willing to ask for his Father’s forgiveness. This is the vulnerable humility everyone should show when they admit to their harmful behaviors. And the Father offers grace and forgiveness and rejoices.

But what about the older son, the one who stayed and worked? Do you ever think about him wasting or squandering the gifts he had? He stayed. He worked with his Father rebuilding the wealth that the younger brother depleted. He followed the rules. And he is angry and resentful and grumpy and unwilling to join in the celebratory barbecue to welcome his brother home. I get it. It can be challenging to celebrate with someone whose mess we had to help clean up. It’s far easier to just label the one who made the mess as useless or worthless than it is to see them as God does.

The Father’s generosity and love has been available to the older son all along but all the son could see is the Father’s rejoicing over the return of the one the older son blames for the pain that he has nurtured into prideful entitlement. This son also wasted his Father’s gifts.

Blame is easy. Blame feeds our self-righteousness. Self-awareness is the weed-killer that stops blame from growing into resentment and anger. The only person whose emotions and behaviors I can manage is me. I can’t make another be who I think they should be but I can allow God’s love and forgiveness shape how I see and interact with others. Personal growth isn’t easy. It takes strength and courage to be who God created us to be.

The Father knows that relationships, especially ones that have been broken and restored are the most valuable thing we have in life. Reconciled relationships are stronger than they were before the damage because true reconciliation requires growth on both sides. It takes strength to admit fault and to say I’m sorry. It takes courage to accept the apology and to love in spite of the hurt caused. Reconciliation requires movement and healing on both sides of the relationship, a willingness to change and grow and work together to intentionally forge a relationship stronger and more healthy than it was before.

Jesus doesn’t tell us if the older son ever let go of his self-righteous resentment and reconciled with his Father and brother. We don’t get a tidy bow on this story. I think the intent of the ‘cliff-hangers’ in Jesus’ parables is to make us think “how would I end this story?” Do I nurture my resentment with more effort than I put into intentionally growing the relationships in my life? Am I willing to step into God’s strength that enables me to either say or accept “I’m sorry” and “Let’s do the work of reconciliation together”?

I think this parable needs to be titled ‘The Prodigal SonS’. In their own ways they both left their relationship with their Father and squandered what they had been given. Jesus gives us the ideal ending with the younger son and lets us work out the ending with the older son ourselves.

Imagine what our world would be like if we worked as diligently at our relationships as we do attempting to amass whatever form of wealth that has gained our attention. God’s gifts to all of us – love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, reconciliation – are always available. We can walk away from them. We can ignore them. Or, we can live into them with the wisdom that these gifts grow in abundance the more we live into them. And there’s always more than enough for everyone.